Sometimes You Just Need To Write, Right?

The last time I posted was.. a long time ago. When my heart was broken and the tears wouldn't stop shedding. Well a lot has changed. Not as much the broken heart, or the non-stop tears, but my life has changed. Everyday seems to be a struggle, but each day it is getting easier. I find ways to help me through. Like the bracelet I wear says: In Memory Of Sam and Tanner 2012. Or the song that I found a couple days ago on pandora, Address In The Stars, (which is probably playing right this second) that totally explains everything I am thinking and feeling. Ohh and you can't forget the pictures. The hundreds of pictures on my camera, phone, computer, and in my room of me and my Sammy. Some people don't think the way I do, don't listen to sad songs, don't look at the old photos, simply try to remove everything that reminds them of the person. I personally love to celebrate! The memories, good times, and laughs! So what has changed? Well I am the newly elected SBO Secretary for next year!! Yay! Even though I did run unopposed, it didn't seem real until all the officers stood on my front lawn, holding the big sign saying "Congraduations to our new FRESH secretary". It was a great experience running again, but it was also hard. Just another reminder that Sam isn't around to see everything. I kept thinking about last year. I remember when we were going around to give our speaches to the history classes and inbetween classes we were walking in the hall. Sam was walking towards me and randomly tripped over his big feet! I was laughing histarically and got in trouble. I guess you had to be there but trust me, it was funny! Memories are the reason I am okay right now. You know those memories that suddenly pop into your head and make you laugh at loud? Yah those are the ones that I cherish. Just the other day we were in the officer room telling the new SBO presidency all the things that had happened in there. The most random stuff meant the world to me and Austin. People always say that it takes time, but I don't know if I quite believe that. I mean, sure it was hard at first, but it hasn't necessarily gotten easier. Like watching the show Long Island Medium the other day, I started crying when some boy had lost his friend when they were in high school. I know that in time I won't feel it as much, it won't always be on my mind. But it is ALWAYS going to be with me. I mean if I live til I am eighty? That seems like soo long to go without talking to my best friend. I just miss our talks so much. People are moving on, and gosh that scares me, cause I'm not. And part of me doesn't want to leave him behind. Like the song, "what do I do with all I need to say? So much I want to tell you everyday?" Well I came up with this idea and I trust you to tell me your opinon. I've decided to start a new blog. Kinda centered on my experiences with Sam and day by day how I feel? I think I'm going to do it and see where it takes me. Doesn't hurt to try right? Well I know this pointless post probably didn't do much, but sometimes you just need to write. Right? haha thanks for reading! :)