Expect the Unexpected

In my many years of life, seventeen years to be exact, I have come up with a motto-like thing that I live by: no matter what you plan for, the Lord always has something bigger and more amazing than you can ever expect in store for you. I have had so many experiences where wonderful things come completely out of nowhere and leave me dazed and confused and completely happy. I look back on the person that I expected myself to be and I am nowhere close. Who knew that going to girl’s camp for the first time when I was 12 that it would lead to getting baptized at 14? That by becoming a member of Sophomore Committee would lead to becoming a Junior Class officer and then SBO Secretary? That by showing up to open courts the summer before my sophomore year that I would start varsity on the Clearfield High Lady Falcons Tennis team for 3 years and might become one of the captains my senior year? What the? I also look back on the trials that have come my way these past few years. If you would have told be 5 years ago that by age 17 that I would be the only member of the LDS church in a divorced family, that was tore apart by my dad, while dealing with losing one of my best friends due to suicide.. man I would have thought you were crazy. All of this isn't breaking news. People say I am strong, but what I have learned is that when put in situations like these you have two choices. One: wallow in disbelief and let the world change you into some pitiful, disappointing, person because of the crap that has been thrown in your face that you have no control over. Or two: wake up every morning, put a smile on your face, and just get through it, one day at a time, depending on your faith and hope for a brighter day to eventually come. Sometimes you just don't have a choice to be anything but strong. Right now I am trying to be strong, but man it is just mostly a lot of...freaking out. Freaking out over my future. I used to know exactly what I was doing, taking it one year at a time, always looking forward. Now I only have one year left, and then what? I don't know where I am going or what I am doing. I still feel like a little 7th grader, looking up to the seniors, just waiting for it to be my time to shine. Now all I can thing about is ACT scores, GPAs, scholarships, colleges, and of course being sentimental over every single little thing. I cried during a parade for heaven’s sake because it was my last as an officer! I'm a baby I know. Of course I have my dreams that I look forward to trying to achieve. I want to become a Utah State Freshman Ambassador, while studying to become an elementary school teacher, and dating an amazing return missionary who is willingly waiting for me to get a good education before marrying me for all time and eternity in the Logan temple. Big dreams? Yes. Huge dreams! But according to my motto-thing that I live by, the Lord has even huger things ready for me. What, you might ask, is even bigger than all of that? I honestly have no idea. I guess we will just have to have faith together and see where it takes us. I am not promising that I will stop freaking out, no way! But I do know that it will all work out. You never know what could happen. :)