What We Want

We always want something. Whether it's a new pair of jeans, a bigger house, a boyfriend, etc. And when we get that thing we have wanted, we move on to wanting something else. I used to want to be baptized. I wanted it so bad. I was sad when I would sit there with absolutely no hope for the future, well until I turned 18. But I wanted it then, I didn't want to wait for something that I knew I absolutely wanted for myself. And now that I am baptized all I want is to have a family that can be together forever. Like I said, we move on to a new dream we want. But I have learned that sometimes we focus on what we want and not what we have. Yesterday I got the chance to go to my one of my close friend's baptism. Eneida approached me a couple weeks ago about the church knowing that I was a convert. She wanted to know my experience with being the only member in my family and of course me being a crazy Mormon I was sooooo excited to share the gospel with her! I told her it wasn't easy. Every day you try to be better but sometimes people will tare you down, even your family. But in the end it's worth it. Every moment you feel the Savior's love for you, well it's indescribable. I also found out that her family was not going to be attending the baptism, which is so hard. To already know that you are hurting them for something that you are choosing to do, well that hurts you too. You want them to feel the same things you are. Like in Sunday school today we were talking about the Tree of Life and how when Lehi partook of the fruit of life he wanted to share it with all his family, but only a fraction of them followed him. Some went totally off the path. As a young convert I have always felt that way. You want them to feel the joy, the peace, the love. But it's your choice and not theirs to make. As she walked into that room dressed in white surrounded by her friends and ward members I know that she was making the right decision for herself. The whole day I kept thinking about my baptism, and how my family was there for me. I am so incredibly grateful for them and for their support. I have realized that I was focusing so much on the fact that my family can't be sealed, but I am so lucky to have them supporting me and being there for me during that special day. I will never forget when I walked out of that water, feeling like I was on cloud nine, and I gave my mom theee biggest hug ever. With wet eyes I kept saying to her as she held me "mom it feels sooo good. I feel so good"! It's taught me that timing is everything and that the Lord has perfect timing. If I hadn't had the desire to be baptized until I was older it probably wouldn't have happened because of my parent's divorce. Or it would have happened without one of them there. I'm glad for the great timing the Lord has because I know without the Holy Ghost and my faith I would be far from okay right now. But I'm holding on. My baptism day was beautiful and enchanting. I told Eneida to write down how she was feeling right now, because she will look upon this day for the rest eternity. It will be the best day of her life. All the things she was worrying about just moments before, will be washed away. All her fears and sadness will be gone. I am so grateful for her example and her friendship. I know that our Savior Jesus Christ died for us that we can follow his example and be baptized. We can live with him and our Heavenly Father again. I also know that Heavenly Father answers our prayers. Mine were answered pretty recently when I received financial aid to BYU especially for youth. I can go with my best friend to one of my favorite places in the world! And have beautiful experiences and meet new people! Ahhh I am so excited! Now all I need is a job to help my mom out a bit.. Hey Heavenly Father can you help me out with that one? Oh! You're working on it? Okay. Thanks! Keep dreaming my friends! XOXOXOXO